Some things I just cant fix

We were in the car today after having breakfast with my brother and my nephew when Gianna asked me If I could "turn the light out?" I looked back at her , her eyes were squinting from the sunlight beaming her. She's been asking me this lately about the sun. She's really going to be annoyed when summertime rolls around.

On another note my dog won't stop barking which is really annoying me! Nothing I do stops her. She's 6 months and rotten. Not to mention her preferred chew toys aka "stuffed pigs hoofs" are really stinking up our house. Hailee said just the other day, "I'm not touching that ever again, now my hands smell like a farm!". She's right they make your house smell like a fart/farm. It's this or our molding people! She's ruined the window ledges in our kitchen the molding around the doors the steps. This is all in our kitchen. She's not completely house broken yet. WE NEED A FENCE NOW. Our homeowner association only allows us to put up those white vinyl fences. Thats $3000 we don't have right now. Our whole plan was to put up a fence THEN get a dog. But thats what happens when two impulsive people tie the knot. We just had to get a dog right now. To be honest with you , if someone showed up on doorstep with another free pooch we'd take it in a heartbeat. Thats how we roll. We make our lives as chaotic as we possibly can, then try to fix it.

This use to be my Aquatic Haven

This use to be my aquatic haven
Originally uploaded by Ciao Bella.

Now I have floating babies and floating ponies in there. Not very relaxing when you go to soak in a nice hot bath and find remnants of purple pony hair tangled around your toes. I can't stand hair on me in the tub. It's one of my pet peeves. Or if you go to dry off and theres hair on the towel. EWWW! If anyone were to swap houses with me. I would promise to make sure theres no pony hair in the tub. (*Notice the white pony with purple hair. That one was one of mine. Sniff, sniff, oh how I miss my childhood)

House Swapping

Has any one seen the movie "The Holiday"? Besides the fact that Jude Law was in it and Jack Black( hilarious), it really made me think. They swapped houses for like two weeks. So the other day I was thinking. How cool would that be to exchange houses with a family in another country?! Cars, pets and everything. I googled it and came across
Home Exchange Dot Com . Check it out. Most of the houses are gorgeous. If you click on them , the people tell you about themselves , their town, things to do, shopping, pets and whether or not they have children. A lot of the places have been exchanged multiple times and there are reviews on them. You can put in where you live and it will pull up who want's to visit your area. To list your house for a year I think it's like $60 but I think it's worth it. There also is a write up about about the safety of it too. So just go play around on the site it's really cool.

I was tagged by Jill! ABC'S Of ME

A- Available or married? Married for 3 years!
B- Best Friend? I have to say my husband Aaron. We always know what the other is thinking.
C- Cake or Pie? Cake but I do like pie occasionally. Not much I don't like!
D- Drink of Choice? Water, Boring , I know
E- Essential Item? lip stick and mascara
F- Favorite Color? Blue
G- Gummi Bears or Worms? I don't like anything gummy. But if someone held a gun to my head and told me to choose. The Worms.
H- Hometown? North of Baltimore, Maryland. I'm still here.
I- Indulgence? Food of all kinds! I'm a foody. I can out eat Aaron any day.
J- January or February? Hailee's B-day is in February and so is Valentines day. I love seeing all the pink and red together.
K- Kids & names? Hailee Michelina (6), Gianna Antonia (2)
L- Life is incomplete without? God & my family!
M- Marriage Date? October 25th
N- Number of Siblings? @ brothers from my moms first marriage, a sister and two brothers from my dads first marriage. Then they got married and had me!
O- Oranges or apples? apples & clemetines
P- Phobias/Fears? Something happening to my kids.
Q-
Favorite Quote? You got Hair hiney? -Gianna Antonia age 2
R- Reason to Smile? I WILL one day see my dad again in heaven :0)
S- Season? Fall, but right now I'm looking forward to spring
T- Tag three people! Blonde mom, Heaven Sent & Mamac-ta
U- Unknown fact about me: My parents took me to Mexico when I was 4. I got to see the Mayan ruins :0)
V- Vegetable you hate? Brussel sprouts! Thats about it!
W- Worst habit? Yelling really loud at poor Aaron when I'm PMSing. Then laughing the next minute. He thinks I'm psycho!
Y- Your favorite food? Italian, Ravioli w/ cremini mushrooms and peas in a sherry cream sauce from Della Note in Little Italy
Z- Zodiac? Taurus

When your five year old knows too much...

We had some guests over the weekend from Connecticut. Aaron's friends from college. Well, mine now too, seeing as I am their youngest Charlies God mother. Anyhoo, Katie came upstairs with a funny look on her face:

Katie- Do you have something to tell me?

Me- No, Why?
Katie- Are you sure?
Me- Yes, I'm positive!
Katie- Well Hailee said that she thinks your going to be having a baby soon because you've been buying and peeing on those special tooth brushes lately.
Me- Oh yeah, she was with me when I bought the ovulation kits.

Apparently to a five year old they resemble "Special Toothbrushes" I had to explain a little bit not in detail what they were for. But by no means did I mention a tooth brush let alone peeing on one :0) Gotta love it!

Stomach Bug

So tell me? Has everyones children gotten the stomach bug recently? It came through our house this weekend. But only happened to hit Gianna :0( but :0) no one else got it. Strange. Maybe it was all the chinese food and the fudgesicle she washed it down with. Man , she's just like her mommy when it comes to food. Her mind and body say yes! She's all better now. It was just a 12 hour bug. Thank the Lord!

Just some of our pictures

Our tree

Kelli & Aaron's Christmas Tree
Originally uploaded by Mama Chiquita.

Our Huge Christmas Balls

Kelli & Aaron's Home
Originally uploaded by Mama Chiquita.

"G" posing

"G" posing
Originally uploaded by Mama Chiquita.

Little "G"

Little "G"
Originally uploaded by Mama Chiquita.

Joseph & Mary

Joseph & Mary
Originally uploaded by Mama Chiquita.

Hailee - aka Mary in the Christmas Program

Hailee - aka Mary in the Christmas Program
Originally uploaded by Mama Chiquita.

De-lurking week

If you do come here and don't comment, PLEASE DO! I would love to hear from you and promise I will lurk on over to see you .

Phewww

First I wanted to thank you girls for all the support you have given me. I feel much better knowing that I'm not alone and there is hope. You all mean a lot to me. And sharing your personal struggles with me really helped. Much love to you all :0) This momma does not want to be any crazier than she already is. I see the doc again in about a week and as of right now. I'm feeling GREAT. Thank the lord! I've been getting sleep at night which was part of the problem and I've had energy during the day:0) God is good. And so is Klonopin temporarilly;0) which I take one at bedtime. TEMPORARILLY. It's pretty funny though because Aaron's said to me "I'll be up after this is over so we can..." I'm like honey, you better hurry up before your getting jiggy with someone unconcious. He actually said. Thats okay honey , you can just lay there. Hmmm , this may not be a bad thing. Maybe I will end up pregnant soon afterall. I'll be nice and relaxed during sex.

I will be posting Christmas pictures soon. XOXO

ANXIETY

Wow, it's been quite a while since I've written. We had a great Christmas! But soon after I was paralyzed by some freakish anxiety. It was like a big panic attack that didn't go away. I was in bed for about 4 days . I use to get the attacks before I had Hailee 6 years ago and got on a medication called imipramine. It worked well then I became pregnant with Hailee and stopped it. I've been fine for all these years but recently they have been escalating from PMS time to a lot more of the time. I couldn't even function. I've never not been able to take care of my kids. I usually just push on through and keep on keepin' on. But this time it was different. It was BAD. Not the normal "oh I can't catch my breath and my arms are going numb." This was that plus more. It was like pure adrenaline was running through my veins for days I was paranoid out of my gourde!Like I was detoxing from heroin ;0) I thought I was losing my mind literally. I couldn't sleep. Xanax didn't even do it. All I wanted was some relief!. I don't mean to have a pity party for myself because I am very blessed and there are people out there WAY worse off than me. All I'm saying is, this scared the shit out of me!. The thought of losing my mind is horrible. But what made it worse was that I couldn't care for my kids while this was happening. Thank the Lord Aaron was home and I didn't really have to worry about it. But Of course I did. You see I don't suffer from depression. My OB tried to put me on a low dose of Zoloft for my anxiety and it had the opposite affect on me. Complete opposite. Thats what sent me into the tailspin of my panic. The past few night I've been taking klonopin before bed so i can get some sleep. Which is is in the same family as Xanax but made up of different components. This stuff is highly addicting and like Valium or any other benzodiazepine, has a nasty withdrawl. I cant take it during the day anyway because I need to be able to do my thing. I like to be alert and running around like a maniac. Thats my problem. I dont give myself any time to relax. Anyhoo, i want to find another solution soon. I don't really want to be on a medication but I'm open to it. We're trying to get pregnant, but at this point I just want to get this anxiety under control and let God take the wheel with the pregnancy bit. Thats what he wants anyway. This is what happens when I try to take control. He's trying to tell me something and I need to just open my ears and listen. I don't know if any of you have suffered from panic attacks or anxiety but if you have I would love to hear what worked for you. You can leave a comment or email me directly if you want kelli@picgroup.com XOXO P.S.- Christmas pictures to come :0)